Poor Leadership
Poor leaders have a greater effect on their team than great leaders, an unfortunate occurence. I have a rather large ego but not large enough than I cannot admit to making mistakes or admit that I don’t get it right all of the time or admit that my actions can have a huge influence on members of the team immediately under me. Mistakes are fine as long as you learn from them and do not continually make the same mistake. Additionally, do your utmost to limit the fallout. No-one gets it right all of the time and again, you must learn to recognise (and admit) when you get it wrong. With those who have been wronged by my/your mistakes it is harder to repair but all I can recommend is that you try your hardest.
Continuing with our angling theme from earlier, a fisherman will look at the gear he is using should the “one that got away” become the two, three and four that got away. The best barometer that a budding leader can use or even more so, an experienced leader can use to measure their performance is the members of that team. If you see that you are losing one of your team members and they are “getting away” from you, it is time for some serious self assessment. Ask yourself some serious questions. For mine, the first five questions you need to ask yourself are,
Are you coming across to your the team as a “know it all”?
Are you sending the team mixed messages?
Are you having trouble making decisions?
Are you avoiding the “elephant in the room”?
Are you having trouble recognising that there is an “elephant in the room”?
I recommend these five questions, I have been required to ask them of myself on many occassions. It is also a good idea to ask yourself these questions and more, even when everything in the team appears to be going along swimmingly. Never become complacent.
Are you coming across to your the team as a “know it all”.
When projects are not being completed as you expected, when small jobs all of a sudden seem like they are major projects and when an eight hour day becomes a never ending blur of one day becoming the next day and as the “boss” you will be determined to fix all the problems on the job and while you are at, fix world hunger and eliminate poverty. You will become convinced that all the problems are caused by someone else, you will also actually begin to verbally start blaming others in front of your team as well as “"knowing” all the reasons other managers are “no good”. If only you could hear yourself and instead of patting yourself on the back you would stop pumping up your own tyres and start sharing the air.
Stop it! Look around and see the ripples of discontent it is causing. Fix it.
As a team leader you need to return to what you were doing when things were going right, when goals were being met and when the balance in the team, including you, was on an even keel. Place the trust you had in the team back in the teams hands. If others outside the immediate team seem to be interfering, have a quiet word to them, tell them your team “has it”. Do what you have receomended to others when you talk about efficiency, don’t try and fix any problems from the Board Room or your office. Get to where the problem is, discuss the problem with all involved and find a solution together. Sure, you will probably make the final decision but make sure you share the decision making process. Remember, you do not know it all.
Being a “know it all” can be deadly.
Are you sending mixed messages?
I am going to toot the same horn that I always toot and so many of the mixed messages come about through, guess what, poor communication. And mostly it is poor communication coming from the leader(s).
Perhaps the biggest cause of mixed messages in when there are two people who either think they are entitled to give all and sundry instruction or there ARE 2 people who ARE entitled to give instruction to everyone.
Let’s remind ourselves of the empowerment we need to give to employee’s if, no when, the above situation occurs.
Of course, most leaders are mindful of when, where and who they can give direct instruction to but that does not mean they are free from homding out plenty of mixed messages. I will start with one that I have been guilty of on more than one occassion.
As you should be aware of by now, I was a manager/leader while I was an expatriate and while this is not a situation that most people will experience, it is something that you should be aware of when speaking to people who maybe less educated than yourself, less worldly than yourself or people who may not speak English as their first language.
With people who do not speak English as the their primary language do not assume that by using simple words that nuanced meaning is no ambiguous.
A simple “I don’t care” will be brushed off by people who know you well or just even speak the way way you speak. But to a person who does not understand the tone in which the “I don’t care” is said or that the “I don’t care” was uttered as an off hand comment, they may feel thay you have completely abandoned the matter or project you are working on or worse still, that you have given up on life. Be careful with your words. Your leadership will start to seem unclear.
For me, the simplest and most effective method for monitoring your effective communication channels is to continuously create feedback opportunities for your team.
By continuous, your team MUST be able to ask questions at anytime without fear od reprisal. You should want to hear the words “Boss, I do not understand, can you repeat that, can you explain that more clearly, can you give me an example of that, etc.,” until you are clear and understood.
Remember when we discussed Intention Management and the need for a Scopeof Works document when we wat our intentions and outcomes to be clear when we were working with outside contractor? While we may not need to be as formal as documenting every word and explanation with our team, we do need to be clear they have a comlpete understanding of what our intentions and meanings are.
Tip
As a Leader you must try not to “revert to type”. This is a point I need to remind myself of ALL OF THE TIME. Time marches on and what was a suitable leadership style 30 years ago is not as suitable today.
When I was a youngster, learning the ropes and enjoying my football more than I cared about a career, coaches were of the “fire and brimstone” type. A common feature for them was that when the game was not going as expected, their voice would become louder, their expressions more animated and they would call out the best player and place the blame for the teams poor performance on this best player. The hope was that if other players saw and heard that the best player was being called out that they would take it upon themselves to improve their performance and that the entire team would lift. A further hope was that the entire team became Leaders in that moment, and the poor old best player who was getting the bake? Well, as the best player it was hoped that he understood what this coaches ruse was all about and accepted the bake without question for the good of the team and most of the time they did. But, even the best would become disillusioned if this ruse was used too often.
And this was my biggest fault as an emerging leader. I would revert to type, more subconciously than for any other reason but a thoughtless action. What worked on the sporting field 40 years ago does not even work on the sporting field today. It will not work in the workplace today, people are bought up differently and rightly so, do not accept the use of abuse, feigned or not. You will lose “the best player” forever and break up your team.
Try to stay in the day. Remind yourself constantly, especially when under pressure.
Take a deep breath, count to ten and relax.
Mr. Ron Barassi and your author. Ron was an original “fire & brimstone” leader. He was an AFL Legend as a player and coach.
Are you having trouble making decisions?
If you are having trouble making decisions and this is a new feeling for you, please go and see a medical professional and make sure you are not suffering from anxiety or depression. That MUST be the first step you take.
The second the step you should take is ask yourself if you are suffering from “burnout”. If you feel like you need a break, take a break. By taking a break and returning to your role refreshed and bouncing with enthusiasm, it will benefit yourself, the team you are leading and the organisation you are a part of as a whole.
If you are just having mental blocks, a lack of confidence that you are making good decisions or have recently had you fingers burnt, read on.
Limit you choices. While there are few decisons where the choices are black and white, try and limit the amount of greyness in the decision making process. Write down what you want to achieve and the position where you find yourself now. The action that contains the least amount of steps will many times be the best and is a good starting point in making your decision. Ask your team what they think, they will appreciate being involved. If the decison is still no closer to being made, ask a previous boss, work mate or just a mate. Don’t procrastinate further. Plan and adjust as you go.
Are you avoiding “the elephant in the room”?
The expression “the elephant in the room” is a common idiom for an important issue that no-one wants to discuss because it will cause controversy and make people feel uncomfortable, cause embarassment, can inflame an already delicate issue and maybe dangerous to your or someone elses future within an organisation.
You know you are avoiding the “elephant” when decisons you normally make without thought are not made, in situations where you would normally voice your opinion sees you mute or a normal basic solution remains untried.
How do you address an uncomfortable truth? The truth is that the longer you do not acknowledge the “elephant” the larger the elephant grows. A lot like the onion in our Root Cause Analysis exercise.
Let’s start with the positive, you have identified the elephant and that’s the first step. Now is the time to think carefully, not make rash decisions as you can become a great leader by addressing the fear(s) that many have.
You need to confirm that you are not the only person who sees the elephant, seek out a close ally and ask if they see the elephant. If they do, I would seek out others as well, find out what the consensus is, how many people see the elephant. Elephant hunting needs to be done with backup and as an another old saying goes, there is safety in numbers.
Next, if you are the person who is going to lead the elephant hunt, be prepared. Have a plan and start with a short 2 point plan. What are you going to say and when are you going to say it. The when will indicate the where. Elephant hunting calls for a clear head, as best you can, take any emotions out of it. Clear and concise delivery is key. Like everything we do, preparation is the key. You need to be prepared.
Follow up with being direct, speak frankly and don’t allow yourself to be goaded into becoming emotional. Even if this is a pre meeting before approaching the elephant directly, the elephant will have supporters in the room. You need to be convincing in your presentation and convert others to support you. No point walking on egg shells if you have come this far.
Call for others to share their feelings on the matter and continue to gain support. Maintain your focus and remain unemotional even when you feel the meeting has met a bottleneck or come up against a road block. Getting to where you planned before the meeting must be met and you will need this support. When you believe you have sufficient support to take the next step. Conclude this meeting by getting a majority to agree that they fully understand the issue and as a group are prepared to at least support you but if you can, get some to commit to taking the next step together.
Be prepared to be met in the near future by a stampeding elephant. Rest assured the elephant will still have supporters, supporters you have recently met with, and be it concerning a poor idea or a person the elephany will now know about the matter at hand.. If it is a person you can bet your last dollar that they will know about your meeting quickly and that they will have been told about in not so glowing terms. Your preparation will again come to your rescue here.
Load up on elephant shot and with the support you have gained repeat the above steps with the elephant about their imposition on the group as a whole or how their decisions a having a negative impact on operations.
Are you having trouble recognising that there is an “elephant in the room”?
Let me be brutally honest here. If you cannot recognise the elephant in the room it is because of one of two reasons.
The first reason is that you are not cut out for the leadership caper.
The second reason and the most likely reason that you cannot recognise the elephant in the room is that you are the elephant.
It is my experience that most elephants are malignant narcissists and yes, I do make that diagnosis as a person untrained to do so. However, if you have ever had the displeasure to have a malignant narcissist in your life, you will know the symptons and diagnosis that yourself.
I can’t teach you this and unfortunately it only having one these unfortunate, menacing, horrid and self absorbed people in your life once that you can recognise another. This little verse named “The Narcissists Prayer” may help you.
The Narcissist's Prayer
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
(by Dayna Craig)